Saturday 14 July 2012
A pain in the Ar-se
I am going to be really
honest. Recently when I have been going to the toilet to pass solids.
In this house.....we pass solids! I have occasionally seen blood
in the bowl. I’m sorry if this seems graphic, but people sometimes
describe it as little coffee beans, which hasn't put me off my coffee
at all, but I found it does look like that. Little bloody coffee
beans that are sticky and I guess squishy. Hope you haven't been
sick. not nice! This has only been happening recently, like over
the past 4 months. It keeps coming and going, so just when I think I
should get this checked out I wont have it again for about a month.
Each time I get it I say to myself 'should go to the doctors
really!' Well yes I bloody well should have!!! And you guessed it
I still haven't, only due to not being able to see my G.P as he is
always fully booked and I keep missing the deadline to phone for an
appointment in the morning. But I am still to do so, and do intend to
do so.
Obviously
when it first happens to you, you think ERM.... that's not right!
I'll give it a few weeks and see if it clears up. So it does,
then it comes back and it is quite a strange sharp feeling when your
going. And back to this circle. Now you do panic you think
Shit! No pun intended... what the hell have I got bowl cancer? You
start to panic you start to google it I LOVE google by the way. You
start looking at forums with people saying it could be this, it could
be that. Very helpful forums though. You read on.... panic more....
and then you read about what it could be and I think I have......
piles, 'grapes' pets in your bum haemorrhoids
whatever you call them. So I still need to make a doctor's
appointment but I just want to reflect on something.
When
I was young maybe 10, 11 or I could have been 12, 13 or 14 come to
think of it, cant really remember but, I had a water infection. It
was PAINFUL! An awful feeling, I was suffering for about a week
before my mother made me go to hospital. I was in a few hours having
samples, checks etc. then I waited, a doctor came and asked me to
face the wall and lift my knees into my chest. Now
what I didn't know at the time was what to expect.
He stuck his dam finger in my arse and twisted it, in my mind, I
nearly jumped so high I may have hit the ceiling. I lay there for
about 20 minutes after shivering. I felt violated, like my arse
virginity which I was
never going to loose
had been stolen from me. I felt sodomised and angry that I had no
idea that was going to happen.
A
good friend of mine had the same intrusion happen to him over a
different medical reason. There
was a family guy episode where it happens to peter griffin and he
sues his doctor hilarious,
and I guess many men have been through the same before the dreaded
check for prostate cancer in later life.
Now
that horrific time stayed with me for years... and years. Until
I got over it. How did
I manage to? Well while my wife was pregnant, and when she was giving
birth, she had to endure all sorts of intrusive procedures in her
lower regions. Student doctor's staring at her and I’m thinking
HEY! There's no baby
yet perverts. So I
decided... after woman have to go through, all those checks,
procedures and intrusions, they don't complain about it. I felt like
I have been a whining 4 year old for all those years because I had an
unexpected poke in the bum which
when I think about it now always reminds me of Tom Green's character
in Freddie got fingered, great film! if your sick and have a warped
sense of humour too as well I guess.
But I thought I have no right to complain, and I should just get over
it. A friend of wifey's told me that I may have to have some horrible
checks like having a camera up there, and be flushed out by a
tube... but ill have to live with it.
So
really the point I’m making is Gents, we may have had a horrible
intrusive experience by a doctor, but compared to what our
significant others have to go through is nothing. So get through it.
Check your balls when your waist deep in the bath or having some me
time. Get your back passage checked for prostate or bowl cancer. Talk
to your friends about it and have a laugh about it.
Just do it!
I do not own the rights to these pictures.
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